


Out Until Sunrise

by WakeUpDreaming



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Babysitting, Drinking, F/M, Girls' Night Out, Spencer babysits Henry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:11:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4245570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WakeUpDreaming/pseuds/WakeUpDreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 7.16, Spencer offers to babysit for JJ while she, Emily, and Penelope have a Girls' Night Out. We got little information from the show about what exactly went down that night, except that the ladies stayed out until morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out Until Sunrise

“And Henry can watch Princess and the Frog,” JJ says as Emily and Penelope drag her out the door, “but no chocolate milk after six! 8:00 bedtime!”

“He knows, Jaje, now let’s go get Mommy’s drunk on,” says Penelope.

“What’s drunk mean?” Henry asks.

Spencer looks at JJ, trying not to smile, as JJ clearly is trying to figure out how to explain it. Before something comes to JJ Emily says, “Come on,” and drags her right out the door.

“By, baby!” JJ says. “Be home later!”

“Bye, Mama!” Henry says.

And that’s when Spencer realizes he is home alone with a small child.

“Hi, Henry,” Spencer says, smiling. “Are you ready to have some fun?”

Henry grins. “I’ll race ya!”

“Race me – wait, not in the house!”

The vacuum falls over into the coffee table before Spencer can finish his sentence.

“Oops,” Henry giggles.

Spencer knows that this is the point at which he should properly discipline Henry so that the behavior isn’t enforced.

But the kid is just so damned cute.

Spencer gives in and laughs. “We probably shouldn’t run in the house.” Henry shakes his head with a huge smile. “We probably should pick up the vacuum cleaner.” Henry nods, his grin getting wider. Spencer watches him, trying to figure out why Henry thinks this is so funny. “Henry…?”

Henry climbs over the vacuum cleaner, onto the couch, and launches himself, with more force than Spencer thought a three year old was capable of producing, right at Spencer. There has to be something said for the FBI practical training, because Spencer is able to catch him without falling backwards into the TV.

“You really need to be more careful,” Spencer says, shifting Henry so his weight is better balanced. “If I let you break your mom’s TV, she would probably kill me.”

Henry nods gravely. “Mommy would be very sad if the TV broke. She likes General Hospital.”

“General –” Spencer suddenly realizes why the name sounds familiar. “Your mom watches soap operas?” he asks. Spencer doesn’t know why it sounds so hilarious, but the image of JJ sitting on the couch after a day at the FBI, eyes glued to the screen as melodrama ensues, makes him laugh.

Henry nods. “She watches when she makes dinner.”

“Well then,” says Spencer, smiling, “I think we should play as far away from the TV as possible.”

* * *

They get to the bar early – really early. It’s only eight in the evening by the time they get into the city, but that doesn’t mean much.

“Can we get dinner first?” Emily asks.

“They have it in the bar,” JJ says, nodding to the door of Lab and Lager. “And they give you free beers if you order two pizzas.”

Emily grins. “Well then,” she says, striding toward the door, “looks like we’re having pizza.”

They are seated quickly and JJ orders at the food window, and they down their pizzas and free beers in less than twenty minutes.

“Well,” says Penelope. “That went quickly. Is it drinking and dancing time?”

JJ considers it for a minute. “I’m down.”

Emily grins and stands up. “Then let’s get going.”

JJ realizes that, in Emily’s perspective, ‘getting going’ means ordering all of them shots.

“You only live twice, ladies,” says Emily. “Woman up and take the shot.”

“But it’s on fire,” says JJ. “Isn’t this the kind of thing you do after you have a couple of drinks?”

Emily shakes her head, leaning against the table. “No, because some people would burn their mouths on a flaming shot glass after a drink.”

“You’re talking about you, aren’t you?” Penelope asks, grinning.

Emily shrugs. “Inconclusive. Come on.” Emily, wearing a shirt that JJ can’t help but notice is very tight and very low cut, manages to smile and flirt her way through the throng of people, and the three of them are at the front of the bar in less than a minute.

“Hello, there,” Emily says, eyeing up the bartender. “Can we get three Flaming B52s?”

JJ expects complete confusion on the bartender’s face, because even Penelope looks baffled.

Instead, she grins back at Emily. “I like your style,” she says. She sets up the shot glasses and clears room enough on the table to pour the shots.

A guy wraps his arm around JJ’s waist. “I like a lady who likes fire,” he says into her ear. His voice is thick and sharp with the smell of whiskey, and JJ watches in disbelief as he slides his hand down her hip.

“Oh, really?” JJ says, and Emily actually looks excited to see how it pans out. “I like a guy who doesn’t smell like sewage. Get off me or I get you kicked out.”

He looks distressed, and won’t move even though she’s pushed his hand away, and Emily actually looks giddy. “But I was just trying to –”

“Don’t care,” JJ says, slapping his hand away a second time. “Get off.”

The guy slinks away and JJ slides in between Penelope and Emily. “Okay, hit me with fire booze,” JJ says. “I’m going to need a lot after that.”

“Aw, don’t worry,” says Emily, bumping JJ’s hip. “I’ll be your pretend lesbian all night long.”

JJ laughs. “But you’re my real lesbian,” she says.

Emily shrugs. “Fine. Your pretend girlfriend, then.”

“Aw,” Penelope says, looking genuinely disappointed. “I wanted to be your pretend girlfriend.”

“Ladies?” the bartender interrupts. “Not to interrupt, but I’m about to set your drinks on fire. $18 dollars.”

Emily bats Penelope’s and JJ’s hands away and pays for them.

The bartender pours the shots and lights them on fire.

“How do we do this again?” JJ asks, looking at Emily for guidance.

“Blow,” she says, “and take the shot.”

They all blow out the flame and take the shot.

“Okay, that,” says Penelope, “that was weak. Can I get a gin and tonic? Heavy on the gin?”

JJ smiles at the bartender. “Vodka sprite please.”

“Oh, god,” says Penelope. “What are you, a college freshman?”

JJ shrugs. “I like what I like, so what, quinine-laden English gentleman.”

Penelope snorts as she pays the bartender. “Touché.”

Emily leans over the bar and pays for JJ’s drink despite JJ’s protests, then says, “Irish car bomb for me.”

“Seriously?” JJ asks.

Emily shrugs. “I’ve already died once. Might as well have fun with this second wind.”

“Oh, this is going to be an interesting night,” says JJ, taking a sip of her drink.

Emily gets the shot and the drink and goes, “Bottoms up, girls,” drops the shot into the Guinness, and chugs the drink.

“Did – was the chugging thing necessary?” JJ asks in shock.

“Of course it was,” Emily replies, throwing an arm around JJ’s shoulders, “it’ll curdle otherwise. Now you two finish your drinks so we can dance.”

* * *

“That was a good one, Henry,” Spencer says, half asleep. “I don’t think I’ve seen that Disney movie before.” Henry’s long hair is in Spencer’s face, and at some point during the movie Henry put both arms through the sleeves of Spencer’s sweatervest and forced them both to lay down on the couch. Spencer’s not even sure Henry’s awake.

Henry sits up rapidly with a huge grin on his face. “Again!”

Apparently he is awake. “Again what?” Spencer asks.

“I want to watch it again!” Henry says, burying his face in Spencer’s chest. “It’s Friday. I stay up late Friday.”

“I don’t know about that,” Spencer begins, but Henry hugs him tighter.

“You’re the best ever, Uncle Spence,” Henry says, snuggling Spencer like his life depends on it. Spencer’s heart warms and he smiles, resting a hand on Henry’s back.

“You’re the best too, Henry,” Spencer says, sitting up. He had hoped the action would dislodge the toddler, but Henry clings on like a spider monkey.

“My best uncles let me watch more TV,” says Henry. “Tiana’s my favorite princess.”

Spencer considers it for a moment, because Henry should really be in bed because he’s only three, but the way Spencer’s godson is looking at him is really hard to resist.

“Okay,” says Spencer. “But you have to lay down and rest, okay?”

“Can I have juice?”

“Your mom said no juice.”

Henry pouts. “Can I have milk?”

Spencer nods. “You can have some milk.”

Spencer assumes that, when he sits up and goes to leave, Henry would slide off and sit on the couch.

Henry does no such thing and instead clings harder.

Spencer has never really held a kid like this before, but Henry settles comfortably on his hip, his head pillowed serenely on Spencer’s shoulder. Spencer fixes him a sippy cup of milk and when they settle back on the couch, Henry snuggles back up to Spencer.

“Love you, Uncle Spencer,” Henry mumbles as the Disney logo comes up.

Spencer’s too choked up to respond.

* * *

“No way,” Emily says, grabbing JJ’s phone out of her hands. “Spencer and Henry are fine. Henry’s probably already in bed!”

“And,” Penelope says, grabbing JJ’s phone from Emily and shoving it in her bra, “you don’t want to interrupt Spencer’s thirteenth reread of, like, Les Mis.”

JJ considers grabbing the phone from Penelope’s boobs, but the fact that the thought crossed her mind means she’s had enough to dance. “But what if I just –”

“No,” says Penelope. “They’re playing Beyoncé. Everybody has to dance to Beyoncé.” She grabs JJ’s arm, and JJ finds herself stumbling after Penelope and Emily.

Emily throws JJ’s arms around her neck and wraps her own arms around JJ’s waist.

“Come on, babe,” Emily says with a grin, “live a little!”

“Are you going to try and kiss me again?” JJ asks. “Because I feel like that would be hard to explain to Will.”

JJ watches as Emily drops her head back and laughs. “No, I won’t,” says Emily. “We’re just going to dance until you start to sober up. Then we’re going to drink more.”

JJ sighs, but as Beyoncé transitions to something dance-y and loud, and she finds herself squished between Penelope and Emily and she’s laughing too hard to worry about what song it is.

They dance for a long time, then go back to drinking when JJ starts talking about calling Henry and Will. Emily keeps interrupting her with, “Nope,” and handing her more booze every time JJ goes for her cell phone. Eventually Emily determines them drunk enough and they return to the dance floor in time for some Ke$ha song that Penelope knows all the words to.

It’s only when her phone falls right out of Penelope’s bra that JJ decides that she needs to call Spencer.

“Oh, come on,” says Emily, but JJ gets to the phone first and makes her way toward the front door.

“Nuh-no,” JJ says, and she knows her cell phone shouldn’t be out, but it’s Reid and she wants to see if Henry is still awake. “Nuh-no, I’m calling no matter what you say.”

“You’re so boring,” Emily groans. “Why can’t you be fun, like Penelope?”

“You’re only saying that because I let grind with me,” Penelope says. “Not that I’m complaining, but –”

“Spencer? Spence, you there?”

* * *

Spencer has to hold the phone away from his ear when he answers. The music in the background is almost overwhelming whatever JJ is trying to say.

“Yeah, Jaje, I’m here, what’s – is everything okay?”

Henry looks up at him sleepily from Spencer’s chest. Spencer wasn’t sure if the kiddo was actually out or not, but he’s not in bed which means he’s definitely not asleep. “Is that Mommy?”

Spencer nods. “Shh. Don’t tell her you’re still awake. It’s eleven-thirty.”

Henry giggles. “I’ve never stayed up ‘til eleven-thirty before!”

“Henry?” JJ asks. “Spencer, put my baby on the phone. What time is it?”

Before Spencer can think, Henry reaches out and grabs the phone. “Hi, Mommy! It’s eleven-thirty!”

Spencer winces, waiting for JJ to read him the riot act.

Instead JJ just says, “Hi, baby. You should go to sleep soon.”

“But we didn’t read Green Eggs and Ham!” Henry says.

Spencer says, “Does he always read before bed?” into the phone.

“Every night,” JJ laughs.

Henry leans back against the phone. “Can we read before bed, Mommy?”

“Yeah,” JJ says, laughing, “you can read. Go upstairs and get your pajamas on – I have to talk to your Uncle Spence for a minute.”

“Okay!” Henry says, and he darts off upstairs, throwing the phone in Spencer’s lap. At some point the music and thumping in the background had faded during Henry’s time.

“Spencer!” shouts someone other than JJ. “Spencer, we’ve got something for you.”

“You do?” he asks, confused. “Emily?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” Emily says. “We’re outside of the bar. You ready?”

“Ready for what?” Spencer asks.

He wishes he hadn’t asked, because within thirty seconds the three of them start singing a song he’s vaguely familiar with.

“He blinded me – with science!” Penelope shouts over the phone as JJ and Emily sing.

“Guys, guys, guys,” Spencer laughs. “I appreciate being serenaded, but I’m more of a mathematician, really.”

“Well then,” says Emily, and there’s enough of a pause on the end of the line to concern Spencer. He knows he was right to worry when Emily says, “Talk nerdy to me.”

JJ and Garcia come in with vocalized trumpets and Emily keeps up with the half rapping/half singing the song Spencer wishes he didn’t know and is surprised Emily knows so well.

“Uncle Spencer, I’m ready!” Henry yells from upstairs.

“Guys, I have to go,” Spencer says into the phone. “Text me when you are on your way home!”

“We will!” shouts JJ.

* * *

“Is it possible to go straight from hammered to hungover?” Penelope asks as they settle into the booth at the diner. “It’s 4am and I’m wavering between wanting to laugh and wanting to puke.”

“Well I know I’m still drunk,” says Emily. The smile on her face is unfair, because JJ’s not quite at that point anymore, and really just wants a huge coffee, a waffle, and enough sugar so that she can make it home in the cab without passing out.

The diner is essentially empty and the food comes quickly. Emily orders something called a Mocha Chocolata, which JJ drinks half of before Emily notices and glares at her for, and the three of them eat fast enough that they’re all still feeling pretty good by the time they leave the tip.

“She’s up late,” says Penelope after stealing the bill, “and she put up with our drunken tomfoolery. Let’s give her a nice tip.”

“A very nice tip,” Emily agrees, and she throws down five ones. JJ follows suit.

“That,” says JJ, “is a very nice tip.”

“Nice tip sounds weird now,” says Penelope. “I think that means it’s time for us to go home.” Her voice drops to a whisper. “Are you guys still drunk?”

JJ considers it. “I’m very close to not being drunk. Dangerously close, actually.”

They all call cabs, hugging as they leave, and JJ calls Spencer on the way home.

Spencer answers the phone with a startled, “What?!”

“Calm down, Spence,” JJ laughs. “Is everything okay?”

“What? Yeah, Henry’s been asleep since we finished Green Eggs and Ham a few minutes after we hung up. You, however,” there’s a pause. “JJ, it’s nearly five in the morning!”

“Did you at least get any sleep?”

“Don’t answer a question with a question,” Spencer says automatically. “But, yeah. I’ve been out for a while.”

JJ laughs. “Yeah, we were out late.”

“Were?” Spencer asks. “You still aren’t home yet.”

“That,” says JJ, “is true. I’ll be home in half an hour.”

“And I will be asleep on your couch. See you soon.”

JJ gets home, kisses Henry on the forehead, and passes out on her bed until her alarm goes off at 8:00 to wake her up to go cheer for Hotch.

She ignores it, groaning, until somebody shakes her arm. “Wake up, Mommy!” says Henry.

“Oh, god, ow,” JJ whines. “Oh, vodka.”

“Who’s vodka?” Henry asks. “We gotta go! Mr. Hotch is running and we gotta catch him!”

JJ laughs, ruffling Henry’s hair. “Not quite honey.”

Spencer peeks his head in. “I already gave him a bath and made a cup of coffee,” he says with a smile. “Hope that was okay.”

JJ drops her head back against the pillow. “Spencer Reid, you are a freaking life saver.”

Spencer shrugs with a smile as he sets a mug of coffee down on JJ’s bedside table. “I do my best.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea when Jason Darulo's "Talk Dirty To Me" came out, and I'm aware that there is a good chance it came out after this episode aired. However, I hope you can suspend reality as you read the fic to allow that minor hiccup to pass. Thanks for reading!


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